I tried coming out to my parents in person at age 17 and 22. Both times were inexplicably hard. Not allowing either of us the time and space to fully process what was being said and unsaid. Writing my parents a letter of understanding was the best route for us as a family. It gave them the time to process and re-read and to contact me when they were ready.
Initially, I thought this was something I had to do in person. I felt cowardly for sending a letter via email. But then I realised I had tried in person before and more importantly this wasn’t about me, it was about helping them understand in a way that was best suited to them. It was about giving them the time and space to process. Realising, they were as much human as I was.
The letter was the best thing I could have done. This marked the beginning of me coming and staying out. I sent his letter in June 2016. 4 months later, Diwali in October, my parents met my female partner for the first time. A huge step.
I hope this letter helps you frame your own coming out to those you love. It was written from a place of light. I wish you light in your journey.
My letter of understanding can be accessed here: A letter of understanding.